When I saw this posted on face book not long ago, my heart wept. Since my diagnosis fifteen years ago, I have often known that this is me. So many people I once called friends are no longer in my life. They do not call, visit, or even recognize the fact that I am still alive. I stay in contact as much as possible, but after a while this one sided relationship just does not make sense.
I refuse to make excuses for my lack of social interaction. It is just not possible any more. And when it is possible, it is no longer fun.
Retirement has placed a heavy and welcome financial burden on my life that requires me to reevaluate priorities. There is no one no thing more important to me than my son; thus, any extracurricular spending goes to his well being. This often determines how well I address my own health, wants, or needs. And that's okay. I am a mother, number one. A huge lesson I have learned this year: Raising a teenager is much more expensive than I EVER expected.
So, "once friends", I will not be actively socializing over the holidays. (That excludes you, Jodi. I'll meet up with you any time.) I would love to welcome you to my home. That's where I hang out!
Yes, this is obviously a venting session; but do not think for a second that I suffer from depression. I do not. I am just a bit sad that my golden years are met with so much stress. Especially when I discover that my son's secondary form of financial support has a garage full of expensive man toys and a resume of excuses for not contributing more.. But, that's just his MO. My biggest mistake. So, I'll suck it up and fix it all best I can. That's what wed warriors do. We deal.
Bitter? Yep, a bit.
Okay, that's my Monday rant. It's time to get off the soap box, whilst (Isn't that an awesome word? "whilst") my dignity is still intact.
This week is all about giving, loving, and sharing.
Guess I completed the "sharing": now I can get on with the more positive stuff.
Have a great day.
I promise to be more uplifting later this week. Sometimes a gal just has to get things off her chest.
Thanks for listening.