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Monday, October 31, 2016

Riding the MS broom

Do you ever feel like the ultimate witchy woman? That is actually a rhetorical question because I know you do. We all do whether we mean it or not. And guess what? We have a right to feel that way. Our brand of broom is a touch one to ride. That is why I truly believe that our supreme master, who ever/whatever that may be, doesn't throw us more than we can catch.

MSers (I read recently that this is an inappropriate way in which to refer to individuals with multiple sclerosis. The source of this judgement obliviously does not live with the disease. MS Warriors are far less offended by such a label than that.) are strong individuals who thrive on finding a purpose, a solution, a balance.

We are dependent on our co-pilot Common Sense. Care Givers are a beautiful addition to our lives, but many MSers (I did it again!) are not fortunate to have someone to clean our broom and dust off the daily spider webs that clutter the  cognitive mess of our brains. I learned that long before MS became my companion, but my tendency to trust often over rules those dark memories. 

I hate to keep score and I hope to never verbalize the many disappointments in my life, but they are beginning to add up and I HATE dwelling on the inconsistency of me vs. the world. So, I'm done. Fini. That's my vent and my inner witchy woman will remain (deadly) silent. Because no matter what, I am in control. For what I believe to be the first time in my life. Maybe not invincible, but I firmly believe that every individual with a disease of permanence has super powers.

I spent the weekend in the company of two particularly strong women. Their individual stories of surviving breast cancer and the ultimate sacrifice that nay woman with that disease totally humbled me. What they endured, mostly by themselves, shamed my MS into hiding to the point of any bladder issues that pounce around on an hourly basis, any hand trembling, blurry vision, blinding headaches, slurry speech...any visual sign of my disease totally vanished in the presence of these women. Their disease is not blatant to the human eye either, but they know what is missing. 

Their broom is a different make and model than mine, but they are still riding high. 

So, on this Halloween 2016, ride your broom and know that you are strong. You are super hero.


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