Skip to main content

It's not about me, but it should be.

Recently I was accused (Is that the correct word? Makes me sound like a criminal.) of making other people feel as if they were on the back burner and of putting myself first in everything. 

This makes me sad. Very sad. And I have devoted far too many hours rolling this around in my brain.

I was told that I have an agenda and everyone else in my life is controlled by what Lisa wants. 

Once again, I am very, very saddened by this revelation.

I am the person who no one remembers, the person who has very few friends and is rather reclusive. I do not understand how everything is about me when I spend my days alone. 

I go our of my way to be invisible, moving behind the scenes and being the onlooker. If I have accused MS for my actions, I apologize, and I will not mention it again. If the words multiple sclerosis never had to pass my lips again, I would be happy. I cannot apologize for something out of my control.

Which brings me to a very important detail: We have the ability to control what makes us happy with a little ambition and determination. Right now my life is very, very different than what it once was. I used to love going to football games and hanging with friends, being part of Mountaineer Nation. Through trial and error, though, I have discovered that this autumn event is just not possible any least without dire consequences. 

The heat+The walk+The inconvenient distance between me and the bathroom+The anxiety of all of the above=DISASTER.

It is not worth it to me when watching at home is far more comfortable. Of course the social element is missing, but, hey, I'm just one less Mountaineer Maniac that needs to be looked after.

I don't exercise much any more for much the same reasons that my spectator football activity has ceased.

To fill these voids I refuse to just sit on my behind and (literally AND figuratively) allow MS/lifestyle changes rule my life. I guess this is where it become all about me. I write books. I travel to different venues when invited to share those books. I am realizing a life long dream while trying to keep these activities isolated to my personal time and space. I rarely talk about writing with anyone other than other writers. I do not gloat on successes nor pout about disappointments. This is my personal and private bubble. 

And I will NOT apologize for achieving this dream.

Not that I have been asked to do so. (Just venting a little...maybe a 

I am not asking for pity. I don't feel sorry for myself. I just have to learn how to play the hand dealt me.

So, on a more positive  note...

Last evening I attended a meeting at my church where I will be facilitating a self-help group for MS. This is not about me, even though I confess to being a bit excited about the opportunity. This part of West Virginia no longer has such a group and it is very much needed. This was reaffirmed when one of the other group facilitators mentioned a girl she knew from their sons playing ball together in school. This girl's MS had progressed to wheelchair stages and she often expressed a need to discuss her disease with other folks in the same boat.

This girl happened to be my dear, dear friend Jamie. My book I Have MS. What's Your Super Power? is dedicated to Jamie. I miss her every day of my life and regret not being there more for her while she was still an angel on earth. 

She is looking down on me right this minute and there is no doubt that what I am doing is important. Not just to me. To the thousands of individuals out there who need to talk, to share, to cry, to remember...

I'm not gong to waste my time apologizing for what I do with my time. I plan to rejoice in this new chapter of my life.

So, if my agenda appears a little Lisa-Heavy, so be it.

Bring some joy into another person's life this week,

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MS Awareness Month: The Letter K

K is for keeping up with Jones's. 
Get rid of this philosophy RIGHT NOW. You are special. You are unique. You are a Warrior. You are a Super Star. MS does not define you. 

We have enough on our plates without worrying about without the rest of the coming and goings in our neighborhood, church, community, family. So what if Bubba got a new ski boat or Nibby Neighbor Nancy is planning - loudly - her spring cruise. I celebrate daily getting out of bed. No, I am not downplaying the excitement surrounding these happy moments in the lives of those folks we know. As MS Warriors, we sometimes need to remember that life hold more bonuses than money can buy.

This morning I am reminded that spring is on its way. Sure, I saw the news and I am well aware of the snow storm that promises to pelt our country in a few hours. I am ready. Milk in the fridge. Bread in the pantry. Flashlights battered up. But, behind that storm is spring and my favorite scent of all times: lilac. Don't ya just love t…

The N of MS.

N is for not allowing MS to win. This easy. Refer to A-M and O-Z.

As MS Warriors it is our job, our responsibility, and our mission to provide information, support, insight, and understanding to this ridiculous disease.


When I say we need to provide information, I am not just talking about clinical research and statistics. If you are living with MS or are close to someone with the MonSter, you have more information than can be found on the internet. YOU are the expert. YOU are the prime resource for what's what in this crazy land of MS. You experience(s) is invaluable.

Supporting the fight against MS wears many hats. Sure, you can make a monetary donation, but that is not always feasible in this tight-budget minded world. I am definitely preaching to the choir here. As a retired school teacher, I am facing quite a few unplanned expenses. No, money is not the only way, or necessarily the best way to offer assist…

MS Awareness Month: H is for Hair Appointments...Really?

H is for hair appointments. Okay, I know what you are thinking. "How can Lisa even think this is remotely important? I am struggling to get through the day. Who cares about my hair?" You're right. I really do not care about hair appointments any more. In fact, I have fallen into the category of old woman buns. That is not the point (As I am certain you have already ascertained.) The point is, do not forget your self image. Make that nail appointment, get that massage, read that book, order that dress, plant that flower. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

So, if  H is not really for hair appointment, what is your MS H?

Let' make a list:

is for...

Healthy choices
Hampering the effects of MS
forming good Habits
Handicap parking (Without my placard I would NEVER go to                                     WalMart!)
Knowing you are NOT Helpless.
MS is not Hereditary.
Realizing you are a Hero of epic proportions. are...a Hero.

Share your thoughts on the letter H…