I just need to clear the air and get this off my chest. Because I have felt totally lousy for the past 48 hours, new MonSter questions have developed in my mind; and, me being me, I decided to perform an informal search for answers; which turned out to be that proverbial needle in a haystack.
Prior to and during my relapse several things happened that I just knew had something to do with the formation of new lesions. I could not bend or curl the toes on my foot affected with foot drop. I had no fine motor skill dexterity in my right hand. I experienced several severe muscle cramps in my legs and feet. That should be easy enough to research, right?
Yes, dear friends, that exacerbation was more powerful than I thought. It totally wiped out all rational thought. I momentarily forgot the identity of the beast with which I was dealing. Score 1 MS.
Anyway, my research took me to a website full of promise...if only I could finalize registration in order to discuss my questions in an open forum.
You know those funny little identity confirmation puzzles that must be addressed in order to gain access into internet sites? Y'know the ones. The objective is to reproduce a shown image by typing in the exact message.
Hey, guys! I HAVE MS. I CANNOT READ SOMETHING THAT IS THE SIZE OF A PENCIL LEAD OR SHROUDED IN FOG.
Even without MS this would be an aggravating challenge. In fact, let's just eliminate the existence of MS (Wouldn't that be great?) all together and try this exercise with perfect vision. IT IS NOT HAPPENING.
So, MSWorldOrg, I apologize for throwing you under the bus, but attempting to navigate your site only served to add further anxiety to my anxiety-overloaded state of mind. I will continue my research via human interaction of my own.
QUESTION: Is a relapse the result of a new lesion? Can you actually feel it happening?
Also, does a separate physical condition evolve as a result of that exacerbation?
Cause, guess what?
I have a head cold now. I can currently bend my toes and my walking gait has restored itself to acceptable. My fine motor skills have returned. Life is good, right?
Except my head is full of phlegm, my nose is dripping, and I now have an annoying cough. Did this seasonal condition initiate my exacerbation or is it the other way around?
Even though the MonSter might think it is winning this challenge, it is so, so wrong.
You see, that moment of weakness in allowing it to score also opened up a fresh arsenal of questions that I will fight to resolve.
Have a wonderful lesion-free weekend,